this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
