I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize
