Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
