ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
