he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Randomize