he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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