He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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