I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
