The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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