Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
