So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Randomize
