dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
i now understand why vodka
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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