awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
