We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
dude. I can hear the air.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
