physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
