ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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