i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
