i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
