I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
