I want to walk on stilts...naked
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
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