just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Randomize
