if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Randomize
