your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
