dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
