I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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