I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I hope mine doesn't look like that
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
You may now shotgun with the bride
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
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