I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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