I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
