so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
