If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Randomize
