we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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