I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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