I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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