You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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