you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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