Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
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