I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
