i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
