honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
