I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Randomize
