Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
