This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
