These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
