It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
