Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
This baby is an asshole
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
