Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
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