But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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