shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
