I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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