i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
and i looked up. we had an audience...
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
