i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
How does one acquire holy water?
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
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