I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
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