the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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