You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
