just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
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