thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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