i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Randomize
