i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
