Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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