Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Randomize