Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
the night ended with taco bell and tears
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize
