Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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