Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Randomize
