so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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