You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Randomize