I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Moan for me like Helen Keller
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
