Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
